The Music of Bent Wit

by lainey schooltree

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This album is a compilation of the demos and finished audio created for beloved variety show Bent Wit Cabaret. Listen at your own peril.


released April 19, 2013



all rights reserved


lainey schooltree Boston, Massachusetts

catsinger / leotarded / unicorny

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Track Name: Bent Wit Theme
You may have seen cabaret before but not like this
It harkens back to olden days but with a twist
So leave behind your preconceptions – Leave behind the kids
And get yourself on over to

The witty tittiest
Hot old biddiest
Come get shittiest
Oh say can you see
Anything more American

Shut off your TV set tonight
Don’t bother putting up a fight
Get more than afternoon delight
At the Cabaret

Girls: Go out and get your favorite fag
Get dressed up in some fancy drag
Emancipate your best old bag
From the home tonight

And now you’ve got yourself a drink
Lift them all ‘round and clinky-clink
Go blow your nose so you can think
At the show tonight

Come on out and play / At the Bent Wit Cabaret
Let us show you all the way / At the Bent Wit Cabaret
Someone might just give you gay
Get your cats neutered and spayed
Nuns and bishops come to pray
Strap on your strap-on on today
Jewish mothers say oy vey
God I hope we all get paid!

More than just ok
Drink your cares away
Bring a date - get laid!

Bent Wit Cabaret!
Track Name: I'm Different
[setting: an abortion clinic. protesters are outside with signs, shouting. one protester slips inside the clinic. she stashes her sign behind a plant and walks to the receptionist area. she confirms an appointment and sits in the waiting area, looking around at the other women there.

I'm Different

This one’s a tramp, this one’s a whore
These women are loose and they’re probably poor
uneducated, no morality
not one of them anything like me…

I’m different
Unlike these other girls I come from a good home
No sins to be atoned
I’m different
It’s just my circumstance that brings me here today
For me it is okay
but abortion is murder and murderers must pay

(Doctor enters and sings:)
I love aborting babies
It’s what I was born to do
And if you were a baby
I’d try to abort you

(Sugar Dish / Receptionist:)
I get employee benefits, every tenth one's free

I'm not even pregnant, abortion's fun for me

Back in the day I was on the streets, we would dumpster dive
behind this very clinic, eating babies to stay alive

(All except Karin):

she's different
unlike us she has got real reasons to be here
a moral pioneer
she's different
and she's pro life because the unborn have no voice
i didn't have a choice
my predicament has led me here
and so has screwing boys

They’re killing babies and there’s nothing more perverse!
(All but Karin:)
No doubt about it, we’re all murder - ers!
It would be better if somebody killed you first!
somebody kill us
somebody kill us
somebody kill us first!
Track Name: Who Am I Now?
on my knees
part of this machine
i can feel it's forsaken me

in our creed we'd heed the call
now it seems as though we might just fall

I've never gone astray
through it all I've still kept the faith
though I know I must go today
there's one thing in my way

who am I now?
I could just be myself if only I knew how...
out into the wild, outside of the tribe
I could be anyone at all

on my knees
i have come to pray
for i can see we have lost our way

together we have yesterday
but now i see there we cannot stay

so it's time that I leave the fold
through the door out into the cold
and I'm even prepared to go
but there's something I must know:

who am I now?
I could just be myself if only I knew how...
out into the wild, outside of the tribe
I could be anyone at all
who am i now?
who am i now?
who am i now?
Track Name: Don't Murder Art
on the desk of the business man
or the books you read on the can
everywhere there's got to be some art

from the coast where the ocean sprays
to the plains where the antelope play
in the cities where they're gay, there must be art

when you turn on your tv
when you drive your suv
or clubbing baby seals you still need art

art separates man from beast
art separates us from feast

but we need to eat
and we hope you'll all agree:

in a world that's torn apart
you can feel it in your heart
let the orgy start, don't murder art

when you fill your shopping cart
you won't find it at walmart
stand and do your part, don't murder art

art lives inside you and me
it grows within you just like an unplanned pregnancy

bourgeoisie and prole
bring your lovin' holes
even save your soul
bent wit cabaret!